In today’s world, people make so many contacts on a daily basis that it becomes really hard to say which one is bound to last. On the other hand, starting a conversation seems to be easier than ever. All that it takes is logging into your Facebook or Instagram account and sending a message, an emoji, or “wave” to a person you are interested in.
Then again, people complain that our civilization is nowadays more alienated than it ever was. You can often see a couple walking on the street with phones in their hands, hardly making any conversation.
Since, nowadays, maintaining a healthy relationship seems to be a hard task for so many people, let’s go through a few pieces of advice that could be helpful to you and your partner if your relationship ever enters the red zone.
Understanding the basics of relationships
A great deal of conflicting situations happens because we forget the basics of a relationship. Scientific evidence proves that the ability of humans to have healthy relationships with others is something we develop in infancy; hence none of us brought into this world with a guide, or a book of tips, on how to form relationships.
Regardless of whether the intimate relationship we build with someone else is a romantic one or not, it requires investing both time and energy into it. Unfortunately, we sometimes tend to forget that commitment is important in maintaining any kind of relationship. So, before you give up on the person you care for only because it might seem that you both hit the wall of mutual misunderstanding, consider discussing the basics of relationship and commitment with them.
Talk. Talk. Talk.
While you probably went through a lot of memorable moments together, without a doubt, sooner or later, life will put you both to the test. Whether your love will be tested or both of you individually, that depends on the circumstances, but in either case, mutual support will get you through the potential storm.
Remember that there is no rulebook on how to live or love. Don’t look too much into so-called perfect lives of hot couples whose photos you see on Instagram, for example. Hardly anyone ever saw how perfect love looks like. Once their photo session is done, they end up arguing over the same problems as you do. Glitter and gold and fancy filters won’t add any value to your relationship. Hours of honest discussion will.
For a healthy relationship, it’s extremely important to talk to your partner about anything that affects either one of you.
Define the nature of your love
As your relationship progresses, your partner will have different dilemmas, such as how to be a good girlfriend, how to satisfy your needs in bed, or how to impress your family and friends.
Also, many couples spend months, or even years, of their relationships living separated due to, for example, studying or working abroad. If this happens to you and your partner, you will both need to learn how to cope with different dilemmas that come with being in a long-distance relationship because that can be a particularly delicate period for every couple.
If you talk to people who’ve gone through a lot in their romance or marriage, they will confirm that every relationship is bound to go through different phases, which means that you should be prepared for many more issues to come.
According to a psychologist Robert Sternberg, every love contains three components:
In the infatuated stage, defined by intense passion, people set their priorities around lust and sexual tension. In this period, you will obviously spend many days exploring each other in bed and perhaps experimenting with adult toys. While you will hardly regret that, do try to be honest about whether your connection lacks depth, and if the answer is yes, try to find out why. On the other hand, when your relationship is based purely on compassion and respect, you may want to discuss why don’t you share personal stories that often, or don’t feel any sexual attraction anymore. If you’re in a relationship predominantly defined by intimacy, both of you may want to ask yourselves whether you are still in a romantic relationship, or why you started seeing each other primarily as good friends.
Remember that whatever your relationship experiences along the road, mutual support, honesty, and long discussions are the essentials you shouldn’t ignore. Neglecting your partner’s needs might end up ruining your bond, but do keep in mind that, in order to flourish, love has to be cherished by both sides, so be open about your own expectations as well.